General jokes (not sorted)
What happens if you mix some bananas and a moose in a cheese hut?
Why did Cocochew cross the road?
Bananas fruit of vegetable?
A man and a small vegetable and a piece of lemon cake walked into a bar and were talking to the barman and the lemon cake said "don't step on me please"
Small fish make a great dish, porcelain type.
I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.
Say what you want about deaf people...
I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade."
I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.
People say I'm condescending. That means i talk down to people.
You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.
Whiteboards are remarkable.
Anytime you want to drink some water please try.
Geese fly south for the winter, easier to take the bus i think.
What happens if you mix some bananas and a moose in a cheese hut?
Why did Cocochew cross the road?
Bananas fruit of vegetable?
A man and a small vegetable and a piece of lemon cake walked into a bar and were talking to the barman and the lemon cake said "don't step on me please"
Small fish make a great dish, porcelain type.
I hate Russian dolls, they're so full of themselves.
I asked my North Korean friend how it was there, he said he couldn't complain.
I haven't talked to my wife in three weeks. I didn't want to interrupt her.
People used to laugh at me when I would say "I want to be a comedian", well nobody's laughing now.
My wife told me to stop impersonating a flamingo. I had to put my foot down.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years; then we met.
I haven't slept for three days, because that would be too long.
The first time I got a universal remote control, I thought to myself "This changes everything."
My grandfather has the heart of a lion and a lifetime ban from the local zoo.
Say what you want about deaf people...
I've spent the past four years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer, but no one will do it.
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought, "That sounds like a fair trade."
I refused to believe my road worker father was stealing from his job, but when I got home, all the signs were there.
I recently decided to sell my vacuum cleaner, all it was doing was gathering dust.
People say I'm condescending. That means i talk down to people.
You can never lose a homing pigeon - if your homing pigeon doesn't come back, what you've lost is a pigeon.
Whiteboards are remarkable.
Anytime you want to drink some water please try.
Geese fly south for the winter, easier to take the bus i think.
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Jokes about food
Yellow food, why? If you wanted to eat some food and had a desire for fish then that's OK, but ask the fish. Food is usually OK if you are a thing that likes food but if you don't like food then whooo baby. |
Jokes about furniture
Yellow furniture, why? If you wanted to eat some furniture and had a desire for table then that's OK, but ask the table. Furniture is usually OK if you are a thing that likes furniture but if you don't like furniture then whooo baby. |